am i stupid

i’ve written other blogs before. other ones that needed secrecy and privacy to work. but i remained a lurker with those blogs.

this time is different, i need to participate, need to work through my feelings within the community of confused and perhaps slightly broken people.

i can’t help but feel that i’m begging to be discovered here. leavings bits of trails and commenting. the emotional damage this blog could reek on some people would be devastating, and i hate to think of that. i feel a moral imperative to not be discovered. how do i reconcile this with my blog – the same way i reconcile staring across the street at some nubile young thing while my partner goes to the bathroom at a restaurant, or the blogs i read she would surely find disappointing. that is i don’t yet, and i’m working through them here.

i hope i don’t get fucked.

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