Bree wrote more about what drives men to visit prostitutes and escorts and defends her observations that sexual abandonment is a common theme. I commented a little there.
I was perfunctory, I think now, in my analysis, and, after all, a central struggle of this blog is why don’t I cheat, yet why won’t I leave her, so I imagine that theme will grow larger and more complete over time. Here’s one more data point on how these things start to happen.
Our struggle, I think, began when she started calling other girls sluts. It’s an ugly word in the best of times, and wasn’t any prettier here, and women, I guess, are prone to odd competitive streaks that being these things out when they shouldn’t, but the real affect, in so far as this blog is concerned, was the strong signal it sent to me. See these girls weren’t tramps as far as I could tell. A few might have flirted with me a little, but most simply put it out there that they enjoyed sex. With one person. Safely. Nothing particularly slutty (though I guess I’m making a proposal that that work is devoid of much meaning) about them, just sex positive. What I learned from that was that, to her, sex was no longer something we would talk about, because bringing that up would “bring her down” to that level, make her a slut, too.
When I realized that, I should have confronted her, but I didn’t. It would have been too hard, too difficult to confront her without defending them, thereby lending credence to her implicit jealousy. So I let it slide and bit my tongue, and thereafter lost the ability to talk about sex with her.
I’m still working through all of these things, but I’m fairly sure that’s the moment our sexual relationship started to disintegrate.
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